Click me!
Last night I spent the better part of an hour pacing back and forth outside our bathroom door, listening to what had to be one of the worst knock-down-drag-out verbal brawls I’ve heard in my life.
Ok, it probably wasn’t exactly the worst I’ve ever heard.
It was the most recent.
That’s got to count for something.
My wife and my daughter were locked in our bathroom as they engaged in a battle of wills. As I was being used as a pawn by my daughter (my two-year-old daughter!) I had been kicked out of the bathroom and made to wait outside.
The fight was over three words. Two words, really, with one being a contraction:
“I’m sorry.”
Upon being told “No” about something (I can’t remember what), my child reached out and slapped her mother in the face.
Yeah, my child hits. Want to fight about it? She’ll kick your rear in.
Hitting is not something we want to encourage, so my wife told my daughter very firmly, “No Hit. Say ‘I’m Sorry.’”
And then the fireworks started. Shortly thereafter, I was ushered out of the room. (And before you judge, it’s not that I’m any less strict with my daughter. Some might disaggree, but I’m really not. The action occured between my wife and my child. I was just a pawn to be used by my daughter to get out of saying “I’m Sorry”)
It took 45 minutes to get my daughter to the point where she sort-of-kind-of apologized. She didn’t even say the words, really. She implied them with a big hug. But she didn’t actually say “I’m sorry.”
We found out today that our daycare provider has also been unsuccessful in getting our daughter to actually verbally apologize. And these are people who have been working with children for decades. At daycare, however, if my daughter gets in trouble and is told to apologize after a timeout she gives smiles and big hugs, but she won’t apologize.
Ever.
This does not bode well for her teenage years.
The thing that kills me is that she will say “I’m sorry” in unprompted situations. I’ve watched her apologize to people, animals, and her dishes if she accidentally bumps into them or disrupts whatever they might be doing. But the minute you try to force the issue, my daughter just clams up.
