Of all the days to be sober

One of the unintended side-effects of hosting a party is left-overs.  I don’t think that anyone goes on a shopping trip thinking “You know…10 people are attending my shindig on Friday.  But I think at least 10 other people overheard me inviting Bob to the party, and even though we were actually in the middle of the grocery store and neither Bob nor I actually know them, they might find out who I am and where I live and come to our little party as well.  I’d better buy enough chips to feed twenty people.”

No, more than likely you go to the store thinking, “I’ve only ever seen Bob put away a hamburger or two at any particular social function.  But I’m pretty sure he was just being modest and would probably eat three if he could.  And Mary?  She once told me that she like hotdogs.  Which means she’d probably eat a half a pack just by herself.   Man, I’d better stock up.”

So of course you over-buy your food.   And then you’re stuck with leftovers.  We still have stuff in our freezer from our daughter’s second birthday party a month ago.

It’s not all bad, however.  One thing that I buy for parties that I normally wouldn’t buy is beer.   I’ve never been much of a drinker.  Or one who parties.  So I really have no idea what to do when it comes to buying alcohol for a party.

So of course I think of Animal House.  And I start to think of that as being the norm.  I silently count up all the characters I can remember and divide that number into all the booze I remember people drinking and come up with a figure roughly equal to a keg per person.  And then I scale down by my innate ratio of frugality.  Somehow I end up with roughly two to three beers per person, regardless of sex, age, or apparently age as this was a two year old birthday party.

(No, no toddlers got buzzed off of beer.  They got tweeked off of cake.)

Long story short, I end up with a lot of beer left over.

Again, I’m a frugal person (in some respects).  I don’t like wasting things I spent good money on.  So I come up with a routine of about a beer a night.  Normally I make it about halfway before I start to really feel relaxed.  (Yes, I’m an extreme lightweight.)  Sometimes, if the workday has been rough enough, I’ll get down to the bottom of the bottle.

And now I’m out.  And today…today was an interesting day.  And I’m finding myself really…REALLY wanting a beer.