While stumbling through the sundry of magazines, flyers, and letters in our mail today, I came across a piece that made my heart skip a beat.

In terror.  Skip a beat in terror.  Nothing good ever happens to me.  You should know this by now.

There was a letter addressed to me from the US District Court.

Holy…crap.  The Justice Department is coming to get me.  They must have found out about my plan to only report the number of people living in our home for the upcoming census without revealing any other personal information.  The unmarked black van is probably just around the block, waiting on the go ahead to whisk me away to an undisclosed location.  In short, I’m farked.

On opening the letter, I found that I was super-farked.  It was a jury qualification survey.  Crap!  They found me.

I was about to start filling out the survey when I took a closer look at the actual form.

The District in question was the Northern District of Georgia.

Where I no longer live.

In fact, I haven’t lived there in two years.

The odd thing is that it’s not like I got a letter with one of those little yellow post-office forwarding messages attached to the bottom.  My request for the post office to forward mail from our old Georgia address to the new Wisconsin one expired quite some time ago.

No, this was a letter from a US District Court in Georgia sent to my correct Wisconsin address.  Apparently the part of the beauracracy that processes address changes finally caught up to our move, but the portion that recognizes that Wisconsin is not a county in Georgia is still working on it.

I went to their website to try and find a phone number I could call to straighten this thing out.  Of course, it was 4:50 ET by the time I found one, so they were closed.  But I did find a FAQ, and it did address the question of what to do if you’ve received this letter after you’ve moved.

According to the instructions, I’m to cross out the old address and write my current correct address next to it.

Which again brings me to the government’s left-hand right-hand situation.

Ah well.  I’ve answered as fully as I could.  Hopefully this won’t go any further.